For those of you following the previous posts you know that my father grew up on a farm. School and education was not easy for he and his brothers and sisters as the life on the farm took priority in those days.
However, though my father was not skilled in literature he was a man of many common trade skills. Of these skills I saw in him a man who could think logically. He had an art of logical thinking in proportion.
What do I mean by that? Have you ever met someone who had the right truth but the wrong weight of emphasis on that truth? Let me explain further. Have you ever met someone who had the right idea politically on some issue but the amount of emphasis on that issue outweighed every other issue, maybe even to the point where they were maybe even obnoxious and pushy with that one area?
I’ve learned from my father that it is important to think clearly and to diagnose ideas or issues with the proper amount of weight/emphasis attached to those issues. In other words, not every issue in life is a major issue. Not every problem is a crisis. Not every subject is as important as every other subject. Not every wrong is as serioous as every other wrong. Some rights are more important that other rights.
Accurate thinking means that a person not only discovers the right idea but that they also apply that idea correctly in proportion to what it deserves.
I’m not really sure exactly how I learned this from my father. I suppose it has taken place by watching him in several areas of his life. I’ve watched him make time for his family growing up. Dad always valued his time with his family. It was a priority. He could have traveled in his business, but he opted to stay local for his family. He could have led the way in founding other businesses but that would have taken time away from his family.
I learned it also from the way that he handled the prices of his work and labor. Not every job required a high price. For work that required very little effort he made sure the price of the work reflected that proportionally.
I also learned it in how he handled issues in our lives with discipline. Not every wrong doing demanded the same amount of punishment.
Additionally, I learned that sometimes even when we were doing something wrong my dad would examine the issue to see how serious of a wrong it was and then give his advice on it in that light. For instance, if dad knew we were doing something wrong he sometimes would tell us that it was wrong but that if we were going to do it anyway then there were some better ways and even safer ways of doing what we were doing. I suppose that was a way to keep us safer so that we would not be hurt so bad that we would not have the time needed to grow up or to overcome that area of immaturity in our lives.
Now to some of you that is possibly a scary idea. To some that means that my dad endorsed wrong. That is not accurate thinking though to think in that way. For example, logical thinking requires that we look at the full picture and see all of the details that we can see in order to make a good judgment or decision.
Here is an example from my home life that reflects a logical and careful mind of my dad. Teenagers, especially boys, are prone to get into fights with other boys when they disagree. My dad did did not condone fighting nor did he ever want us, his sons, to get into a fight.
However, knowing that such things were probable in the life of boys growing up in the country dad took steps to teach us how to defend ourselves if we did indeed get into a fight.
Of course, some of those fights were foolish, uneccessary, and simply fought over dumb issues of pride. I think dad knew that and he tried to steer us in different ways.
Dad knew that it was important to try and teach us how to make peace but that it was more important to teach us how to defend ourselves if peace was not a possible outcome. Self-defense could mean the defense of our life or the life or health of another! Had my dad been so focused just on the peacemaking part that he failed to teach us boys how to fight and defend ourselves then we may have been seriously hurt or possibly even killed had we got into a scuffle with no knowledge of how to defend ourselves properly. I’m sure dad knew that we would sometimes use this knowledge for the bad instead of the good. And we did! But due to his love for us and his love for our safety dad chose to teach us how to fight in order to give us a better opportunity should we get into a scuffle.
Dad modeled, though certainly not all the time, for us balance in thinking. Sometimes of course he too was unbalanced, as we all are from time to time. He attempted to think proportionally to the circumstances around us and around the situation. Some truths or rights were more important that other truths and rights. Some wrong were worse than other wrongs.
Jesus taught us this same principle. Some sins are worse than other sins (John 19:11). Some laws are more important than other laws (Matt. 23:23). Some virtues are higher than other virtues (Matt. 22:37-40; 1 Cor. 13:13).
Logical thinking, accurate thinking, balanced thinking will be of such nature where it seeks not only to find the right answer but it will also seek to apply that answer to the situation at hand with the right degree of of emphasis.
How are you doing in teaching your children that there are different degrees of sin, different degrees of right and wrong? Or are you teaching your children that everything is so absolutely important that nothing takes priority over anything? If you are doing the second then your children are going to be in serious trouble when they try and relate to people in the world or when they try and discern the difference between serious issues of life and minor issues of life. Let me give you some examples of people I’ve met who can’t see or think logically and proportionally.
I’ve met police officers who think every infraction of the law is just as serious and deserves as much punishment as any other law violation? Scary, is it not? I’ve met fathers who believe that the spanking of children should be just as stern and with the same amount of spankings with each and every infraction no matter the difference of infraction. I’ve met pastors and ministerial leaders who think that every doctrine in the Bible is just as important as every other doctrine and there is to be no allowance for people to disagree with any doctrine he holds as true if there is to be true fellowship in the Lord. Of course, most of these pastors don’t have too many true friends either, a self-correcting problem, or at least should be anyway.
On the other end though are the products of those who are subjected to these types of leaders. Those who have encountered that police officer who chooses to write a ticket to that man driving 8 mph over the speed limit to get to the hospital when his wife was in the emergency room causes that person to become bitter and disgruntled with the law enforcement officials and the government. The child that grows up in a home where dad or mom spank or discipline every wrong with the same of amount of punishment become angry, disgruntled, and often bitter adults. Church members that sit under pastoral teaching or teachers of the Bible that make every doctrine of the Bible an essential doctrine are often mean spirited, divisive, and unloving people in the community.
My point? It is crucial to learn how to think in balanced, logical, and proportional ways in order to raise logical, balanced, and mature children. Jesus set the ultimate example for us in the way he made disciples. Take a look at the four components of how Jesus made disciples and their implications on parenting.
Find someone who knows you well and ask them to see if they see any unbalanced ways in your approach. You might be surprised as to what they see in you that you do not see.
Serving You,
Keith Sherlin; DD; Th.D
