Chapter 7 of Proverbs is another discourse on the life of an adulterous woman. In this chapter we can gain insight into the actual way a woman’s mind functions when she chooses to break her covenant and join herself to another man. In chapter six we saw the parent’s instruction to the man which focused on his heart and mind being caught by the beauty of the woman. Now here in this chapter we see the woman’s tactics in seducing a man.
Warn your sons about the adulteress
Every young boy should be schooled carefully in what to watch out for in regard to an adulterous woman. As much as the Lord speaks to this subject it certainly reveals how serious he is that his people be trained thoroughly in the dangers of this lifestyle. They key verse to this section is found in verse 4 through 5. The Bible says, “say to wisdom, ‘you are my sister,’ and call insight your intimate friend, to keep you from the forbidden woman, from the adulteress with her smooth words.”
Get wisdom, my son
A woman will sometimes break her union with her man due to a myriad of reasons and thus no one size warning will cover every situation. Thus, God says that for a person to escape the evil path of an evil woman who wants to secretly desert her man through forming another conjugal union to another man the method to avoid that comes through being skilled in wisdom. Wisdom is the art and skill of being able to discern the motives and intentions of another as well as being able to apply biblical truth to actual real life scenarios. It takes wisdom to avoid the situations that often lead to adultery.
The parent must instruct the child to not be caught up in the power of the adulteress and to not be caught in that he must not place himself around her when alone. This is the point of verses 8-10. This means that a man must be able to identify the traits of the adulterous and when he senses this through wisdom he must not place himself around her in contexts that make it easy to give in to her advances. Verse 9 says, “in the twilight, in the evening, at the time of night and darkness,” and this seems to be a figurative symbolic way of even pointing to the darkness that is about to befall the man who drifts into this dark and disastrous domain.
Characteristics of the adulteress
Verses 10 through 20 give us insight into the very mind and actions of an unfaithful and evil woman who will break her union from her man to form another union with another man. We see that she will dress in such a way to please the eye of the man (vs. 10). She is not a reserved and gentle woman but she is loud. She is a woman who loves to be noticed and heard (vs. 11a). She is also a woman who is not content with her home life (vs. 11b). The woman is quick and easy with her passionate advances as she is self-centered and eager to get what she wants as in her heart she seeks to be in control and does not respect submission to God or her current union under her man’s headship (vs. 13). Too this type of woman is often religious and covers her seductive and sadistic heart with religiosity. She will use her religion and faith as a way to abuse the grace of the Lord (vs. 14-15).
Additionally, she is one who has premeditated her fling. Most adulterous actions are not spur of the moment events. Normally the plot has been planned for some time for this moment of sin (vs. 16-18). In this case the woman planned to make her move when her man had gone away on trip and was away for a period of time (vs. 19-20). An unfaithful woman who is not honest enough to deal with her issues with her covenant head will plot to make her moves at times like these. With these mental plans and actions put to those plans a woman is often able through her “seductive speech” (vs. 21) to gain control over the “young man lacking sense” (vs. 7). She “persuades” (vs. 21) the man who is “simple” minded (vs. 7) and who lacks wisdom. The simple man, who is without wisdom, “follows her as an ox goes to slaughter,” and he “does not know that it will cost him his life” (vs. 22, 23). Physical and spiritual death looms on the horizon for those in this sin (vs. 27).
Practical application
Adultery rarely if ever happens just on the spur of the moment. Granted in today’s culture there are places where in the adult entertainment world that such things like that can indeed happen quickly. But many women, especially the religious woman who is outwardly seeking to be decent in the eyes of society while still submitting to her inward rebellion impulses, will build bonds with another man besides her covenant head and then slip into this immoral lifestyle with someone she can control and manipulate to succumb to her advances. As a parent it is your duty to train your boy how to be a man and how to notice the signs of an adulterous woman. Train your child in wisdom. Teach him to notice the signs of an unfaithful woman so he is not caught in the evil snare that could utterly ruin him and his family. Pray your son and/or daughter will escape this sin!
Dr. Keith Sherlin
{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
I love this article one problem is how do you deterimine if someone has an aduterous character before you marry them my ex-wife whom i met at my church whom i thought was a godly women I dated for three yrs before we got married comitted adultery nine months into our marriage destoying it and my life it can be hard to determine if a person is an adulterer I never thought this would ever happen to me and it is a living hell ..
Hi Cody, thanks for writing. Your intense pain is evident in your writing. I am praying that the Lord will give you comfort through His Holy Spirit and through His peace which passes all understanding.
First I should say that there is much information about your relationship that you have not shared. But we know that we all are sinners and all are tempted; both you and your ex-wife. “We all like sheep have gone astray.” There are no guarantees that a man or woman will not fall at some point in marriage. We all make mistakes and when we repent, God forgives and we are commanded to forgive those who repent.
Having said that, you are fortunate to know the truth early in your marriage rather than finding out years or even decades later. The Lord may also use this pain you are experiencing in the present to help others in the future.
So what can you do to determine the character of a person? You can’t know for sure the condition of someone’s heart. However Jesus said that we will know a tree by its fruit. He also said, “For the mouth speaks out of that which fills the heart.” Some things that you might do with a prospective spouse to examine the fruit:
1. Tell them that you want to be pure with them before marriage. If they won’t agree, they that may be a warning sign about their behavior after marriage.
2. Study them and know them well before you give them your heart. You are looking for their true love for Jesus Himself. Are they true followers of Christ? Do they serve the Lord? Do they view day-to-day situations through the lens of scripture? Since Jesus said “For the mouth speaks out of that which fills the heart,” what fills their heart?
3. Observe how they interact with members of the opposite sex. Do they flirt? If so that is a huge warning signal.
4. Determine if they are truthful with you. Ask about their sexual experiences in the past. If they are willing to look bad in order to be truthful with you, you likely have a winner. If not, watch out.
5. Do they dress modestly, or do they dress to attract the opposite sex? With today’s fashions there is a lot of immodest attire, but it is possible to dress modestly. This can be an important indicator.
6. Check their reputation. If they dated in the past, were they true or did they cheat? Did they “serial date?” Check with old flames to determine their character and who else they dated. Do the stories you hear match up with the ones your prospective spouse told you about their past? Ask other people that know them of their opinion of your prospective spouse.
7. Observe what they appreciate. What are their hobbies? What kinds of music, movies and TV shows do they like? What do they read? What kind of fruits are demonstrated in their favorite entertainment?
These are a few ideas I can think of. Anyone else want to share some of your ideas?
Thank You Amelton for your kind and Godly words this was my first and only marriage so far and I admit I am probably not the best at seeing red flags I seem to always look at the best in people and some times ignore the worst but since my divorce the Lord has given me great discernment in this area thru folks like yourself who write articles and blogs like this one and the bible it is such a blessing I didnt really place the teachings like in Prov:5,6,7 about the immoral women with my ex-wife I didnt really see that in her but now I can say some adulterous women/men are very crafty with their deception if one thing has come from this painful experience is that my eyes are now open to this sin and its very distructive power the devil really does seek to devour and you are so accurate in this article my Ex -Wife used religion to make herself look good to me and others I confess it is very difficult to forgive her and the other man who was in a position of trust i ask the lord every day for strength and grace to forgive them thanks once again for this great article