Lessons from Dad: Part 12 (Cooperation)

December 14th, 2009

In the book “Disciple Like Jesus” Alan and Paul mention this: “Jesus also showed them [his disciples] scriptural principles in action. It is one thing to teach theoretical principles. The Pharisees knew the law. But it is something entirely different when the teacher shows by example how Scripture is actually lived out.” (p. 158).

In looking back at my father’s life I see how he taught me the ways of Christ by modeling much of the Savior’s life in how he lived. In one particular area I learned that not all truth is of the same importance. Some truths take higher priority over other truths.

How did I learn this from my dad? Here is a good example that I recall over the years. My dad founded and operates a business and over the years he has seen various Presidents come and go. Some decisions made by the federal government were good for his business and some decisions were not good for his business. Yet no matter what he thought of the President of the Unisted States he would never speak in a derogatory way about the president. As he used to say: “He is still the president and the Commander in Chief of our Country and he deserves our respect whether we agree with him or not.”

In other ways I saw my dad learn to build relationships with people that he differed with in many areas. Dad always put forth the best effort to find something he could agree upon with another person before focusing on the areas where he did not agree with the person.

Additionally, I watched my dad maintain a family even when there were different views and beliefs among the family. He understood the power of harmony, organized power from those where agreement could be found, and realized that to accomplish large goals he must put away pride and work with those that he differed with in lower level truth areas.

Take the time to interact with your children. Look for ways to show them how to cooperate with others. There are great benefits of making disciples within your family.

Serving You,
Keith Sherlin; DD; Th.D

Are Christian Parents Abandoning the Practices of the Founder?

December 9th, 2009

In 1999, my business partner and I sold a company we founded in 1983. In its eighteen year history, the business had been dedicated to the Lord and grew to one hundred thirty employees. Our business was centered on strong relationships and service to our customers. Unfortunately, the company that acquired the business abandoned that vision. They dismantled the processes and practices of the founders and they got rid of our customer service managers. Their focus was on more profit but they lost a massive amount of business. Customer relationships were gone. Within a few short years the new company had lost all the major accounts and the number of employees had fallen from one-hundred thirty to only nine.

What is happening in the church is not very different. Jesus spent three years showing us how to make disciples. He taught His disciples in the morning, when they sat, when they traveled, and when they were about to retire for the day. He personally assumed the task and He constantly performed it. He protected His disciples by sending them out in twos. He presented His most important work, the work of making disciples, to God just prior to His crucifixion. Then He commanded us to make disciples.

Like the new owners of the company mentioned above, when it comes to discipling our children, we have abandoned the practices of the founder. Jesus gave us a model to follow. He is the Lord of the universe. Jesus knows how to make disciples better than anyone. Why would we ignore His approach?
 
Since many parents are not following Jesus in this regard, many have lost their relationships with their children. The church is reaping the huge consequences of not following Christ in her discipleship practice. Satan knows how Jesus made disciples as described in the four components. He has convinced Christians to give their children to him nearly all day long. Satan is using these four components to make disciples of his own out of our children.

Again, Jesus said, “The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly” (John 10:10). Will your children be discipled by Satan or by you? Will your children be vulnerable to destruction by the devil or will your family enter the abundant life that Jesus promised?

Lessons from Dad: Part 11 (Concentration)

December 6th, 2009

Mercy, how my dad did this for all of his career and still does today I will never know? For those of you following these posts my dad has been a jeweler most all of his life.

He will sometimes sit down at his workbench and handle a watch or clock for hours upon hours. Sometimes even while at home he will be sitting at a desk working on a watch or clock.

He will have a glass eye loop on his face and for hours upon hours he will handle tiny screws, springs, gears, and parts to a watch or clock.

What has this taught me in life? First, to accomplish tasks in life we must have the ability to concentrate. Good work requires mental concentration. It requires for us to secondly exhibit patience. To concentrate on something requires that we have patience. Third, this has taught me the power and value of self-discipline. When many in the world today suffer from attention deficit disorder, a problem whereby people can’t concentrate upon a subject or task for long periods of time, I am thankful that I have this memory and pattern to see in the life of my father. It has helped me to learn how to focus and concentrate on matters in my life.

Dear parents, what are you imparting to your children in the area of patience and concentration? Are they learning from you to be impulsive, or are they learning to tackle a task that may be tough, tedious, or troubling, yet doable if they concentrate and practice self-discipline?  Here is a self assessment that will help you determine if you are making disciples like Jesus did.

The Bible says, “for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control” (2 Tim. 1:7).

Serving You,
Keith Sherlin; DD; Th.D

Lessons from Dad: Part 10 (Logical & Accurate Thinking)

November 29th, 2009

For those of you following the previous posts you know that my father grew up on a farm. School and education was not easy for he and his brothers and sisters as the life on the farm took priority in those days.

However, though my father was not skilled in literature he was a man of many common trade skills. Of these skills I saw in him a man who could think logically. He had an art of logical thinking in proportion.

What do I mean by that? Have you ever met someone who had the right truth but the wrong weight of emphasis on that truth? Let me explain further. Have you ever met someone who had the right idea politically on some issue but the amount of emphasis on that issue outweighed every other issue, maybe even to the point where they were maybe even obnoxious and pushy with that one area?

I’ve learned from my father that it is important to think clearly and to diagnose ideas or issues with the proper amount of weight/emphasis attached to those issues. In other words, not every issue in life is a major issue. Not every problem is a crisis. Not every subject is as important as every other subject. Not every wrong is as serioous as every other wrong. Some rights are more important that other rights.

Accurate thinking means that a person not only discovers the right idea but that they also apply that idea correctly in proportion to what it deserves.

I’m not really sure exactly how I learned this from my father. I suppose it has taken place by watching him in several areas of his life. I’ve watched him make time for his family growing up. Dad always valued his time with his family. It was a priority. He could have traveled in his business, but he opted to stay local for his family. He could have led the way in founding other businesses but that would have taken time away from his family.

I learned it also from the way that he handled the prices of his work and labor. Not every job required a high price. For work that required very little effort he made sure the price of the work reflected that proportionally.

I also learned it in how he handled issues in our lives with discipline. Not every wrong doing demanded the same amount of punishment.

Additionally, I learned that sometimes even when we were doing something wrong my dad would examine the issue to see how serious of a wrong it was and then give his advice on it in that light. For instance, if dad knew we were doing something wrong he sometimes would tell us that it was wrong but that if we were going to do it anyway then there were some better ways and even safer ways of doing what we were doing. I suppose that was a way to keep us safer so that we would not be hurt so bad that we would not have the time needed to grow up or to overcome that area of immaturity in our lives.

Now to some of you that is possibly a scary idea. To some that means that my dad endorsed wrong. That is not accurate thinking though to think in that way. For example, logical thinking requires that we look at the full picture and see all of the details that we can see in order to make a good judgment or decision.

Here is an example from my home life that reflects a logical and careful mind of my dad. Teenagers, especially boys, are prone to get into fights with other boys when they disagree. My dad did did not condone fighting nor did he ever want us, his sons, to get into a fight.

However, knowing that such things were probable in the life of boys growing up in the country dad took steps to teach us how to defend ourselves if we did indeed get into a fight.

Of course, some of those fights were foolish, uneccessary, and simply fought over dumb issues of pride. I think dad knew that and he tried to steer us in different ways.

Dad knew that it was important to try and teach us how to make peace but that it was more important to teach us how to defend ourselves if peace was not a possible outcome. Self-defense could mean the defense of our life or the life or health of another! Had my dad been so focused just on the peacemaking part that he failed to teach us boys how to fight and defend ourselves then we may have been seriously hurt or possibly even killed had we got into a scuffle with no knowledge of how to defend ourselves properly. I’m sure dad knew that we would sometimes use this knowledge for the bad instead of the good. And we did! But due to his love for us and his love for our safety dad chose to teach us how to fight in order to give us a better opportunity should we get into a scuffle.

Dad modeled, though certainly not all the time, for us balance in thinking. Sometimes of course he too was unbalanced, as we all are from time to time. He attempted to think proportionally to the circumstances around us and around the situation. Some truths or rights were more important that other truths and rights. Some wrong were worse than other wrongs.

Jesus taught us this same principle. Some sins are worse than other sins (John 19:11). Some laws are more important than other laws (Matt. 23:23). Some virtues are higher than other virtues (Matt. 22:37-40; 1 Cor. 13:13).

Logical thinking, accurate thinking, balanced thinking will be of such nature where it seeks not only to find the right answer but it will also seek to apply that answer to the situation at hand with the right degree of of emphasis.

How are you doing in teaching your children that there are different degrees of sin, different degrees of right and wrong? Or are you teaching your children that everything is so absolutely important that nothing takes priority over anything? If you are doing the second then your children are going to be in serious trouble when they try and relate to people in the world or when they try and discern the difference between serious issues of life and minor issues of life. Let me give you some examples of people I’ve met who can’t see or think logically and proportionally.

I’ve met police officers who think every infraction of the law is just as serious and deserves as much punishment as any other law violation? Scary, is it not? I’ve met fathers who believe that the spanking of children should be just as stern and with the same amount of spankings with each and every infraction no matter the difference of infraction. I’ve met pastors and ministerial leaders who think that every doctrine in the Bible is just as important as every other doctrine and there is to be no allowance for people to disagree with any doctrine he holds as true if there is to be true fellowship in the Lord. Of course, most of these pastors don’t have too many true friends either, a self-correcting problem, or at least should be anyway.

On the other end though are the products of those who are subjected to these types of leaders. Those who have encountered that police officer who chooses to write a ticket to that man driving 8 mph over the speed limit to get to the hospital when his wife was in the emergency room causes that person to become bitter and disgruntled with the law enforcement officials and the government. The child that grows up in a home where dad or mom spank or discipline every wrong with the same of amount of punishment become angry, disgruntled, and often bitter adults. Church members that sit under pastoral teaching or teachers of the Bible that make every doctrine of the Bible an essential doctrine are often mean spirited, divisive, and unloving people in the community.

My point? It is crucial to learn how to think in balanced, logical, and proportional ways in order to raise logical, balanced, and mature children.  Jesus set the ultimate example for us in the way he made disciples.  Take a look at the four components of how Jesus made disciples and their implications on parenting.

Find someone who knows you well and ask them to see if they see any unbalanced ways in your approach. You might be surprised as to what they see in you that you do not see.

Serving You,
Keith Sherlin; DD; Th.D

Top Ten Ways to Disciple Your Children Like Jesus Did (The Last Five)

November 7th, 2009

Jesus showed us for three years how to make disciples. Then He commanded us to “make disciples.” What lessons can parents learn from the practices of Jesus that will produce great blessings and memories? This article will list the last five of a top ten list.

Part 2. Thousands of books have been written on parenting. Several research organizations indicate these books have not helped parents very much. Two million children are permanently leaving the church each year and out of every two hundred young adults, only one has a biblical worldview! Jesus said that “we will know a tree by its fruit,” and the “tree” looks pretty sick.

Can we learn some things about parenting from Jesus Christ Himself? After all, He showed us for 3 years how to make disciples, and then commanded us to do the same. Below you will find the last five of a “top ten” list about how parents can obey the Great Commission and enjoy the great blessings of parenting.

5.  Provide loving correcting to your children, and never discipline in anger. In the same way that a coach corrects his players, parents need even more to provide loving correction and guidance.

4.  Frequently teach your children about God and scripture each day; that’s what Jesus did! Take advantage of time in the home, in the car, at the park, etc to talk about the goodness of the Lord.

3.  Take your children into the world to minister to others.  Find opportunities to take meals, cookies, flowers, cards, and tracks to others in need.  Pray for, minister to and give testimonies to the needy. 

2.  Protect your lambs from the many wolves in our culture by being with them.  In Psalm 23 Jesus the Shepherd was with His flock as they walked through “the valley of the shadow of death.”

1.  Once your children are fully trained, send them out with other trusted adults. After training His adult disciples, Jesus sent them out in twos.  He said “I send you out as lambs among wolves.”

Here are some other practical ideas of how you can disciple your children.

Top Ten Ways to Disciple Your Children Like Jesus Did (The First Five)

November 7th, 2009

2000 years ago Jesus showed us how to make disciples. Then He gave Christians “The Great Commission.” What lessons can parents learn from the practices of Jesus that will produce great blessings and memories? This article will list five of the top ten.

 There have been thousands of books written on parenting. According to several research organizations, these books have not helped parents very much. Not only are more than 2 million children permanently leaving the church each year, out of every two hundred young adults, only one has a biblical worldview! Jesus said that “we will know a tree by its fruit;” and the tree looks pretty sick.

Can we learn some things about parenting from Jesus Christ Himself? After all, He showed us for 3 years how to make disciples, and then commanded us to do the same. Below you will find the first five of a “top ten” list about how parents can obey the Great Commission and enjoy the great blessings of parenting.

10. Intentionally teach and train your children like Jesus did with His disciples. Consider the fact that Jesus did virtually all of the teaching.  Start early!

9.  Be careful about who and what you allow to teach your children. Realize that many forms of teachers and media will teach your children the wrong messages.

8.  Jesus was with His disciples all day long. Be with your children for quantity time; the idea “quality time” is yielding terrible results.

7.  Develop deep relationships with your children. Start when they are born and get to really know them; know them at a heart level.  Know about their dreams and aspirations. Be their best friend and confidant.

6.  Always tell your children the truth, especially about your own faults, sins and failures.  Being transparent with them will help you avoid the trap of hypocrisy.

Take a look at some interesting videos on making disciples of your children.

A Grim Reality for Parents and the Church, But There is Hope!

November 7th, 2009

Did you know that over two million children are leaving the church each year when they reach adulthood?  Some of the “wolves” that are devouring our “lambs” and a solution.

Independent research groups indicate that seventy-five to ninety percent of our young people walk away from church upon graduating from high school. Every minute we lose four youth, every hour we lose over two-hundred, every day we lose over five-thousand, and every year we lose over two-million. Our children are walking out the doors of the church never to return.

Think about the enormity of losing two million children to the world every year. Something is definitely wrong.

Parents are truly blindsided here. Of the Americans who call themselves born again Christians, only about nine percent have a biblical worldview. The majority lose their virginity by their second year of college. With more than fifty percent of Christian marriages ending in divorce, the church’s divorce rate is slightly worse than that of secular society.

Consider the “wolves” that attack families today: education that undermines Christian beliefs, bullies, peer pressure, discrimination against Christians, drugs, the homosexual agenda, sexually transmitted diseases, child abductions, sexual predators, school violence, pornography, gangs, and the occult, to name a few. This growing list seems to never end. What is a parent to do with these real threats? Is God not protecting us?

Scripture provides a warning for parents: “Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour” (1 Peter 5:8).

The Lord Jesus gave us a warning but also added a promise in John 10:10: “The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.”

Why is the thief stealing, killing, and destroying our families? Since Jesus promises to give us abundant life, why are these wolves consuming our families? Is there a way out of this disaster for families? The answer is yes. There is a way out.

Truthfully, Jesus Himself is the answer to each one of these “wolves.” In a very real way, you need something other than a “pray and cross your fingers” approach most parents adopt. The solution is amazingly simple and practical; parents need to make disciples of their children in the same manner that Jesus made disciples.

 I would like to invite you to get my free e-book entitled, “Disciple Like Jesus, an Introduction For Parents and Grandparents.” You will find this free e-book at http://www.disciplelikejesus.com/free-ebooks.html  

Alan Melton is the founder of Disciple Like Jesus ministry, and co-author of “Disciple Like Jesus For Parents.” His articles have been featured in numerous publications, and he speaks at churches, associations and conferences. Married to Donna since 1977, he has two children, Jennifer and Ryan.

A Historical Celebration of a Hero for the Halloween Season

November 7th, 2009

Every person needs heroes of the faith. Over the years various theologians, teachers, leaders, and officials have become people that I admire and hope to model in my own life in various ways.

As we come to Halloween I want to mention one man that is a hero to me and should be to all of us who claim the name of Christ. A hero is defined as “a man distinguished for exceptional courage, fortitude, or bold enterprise.”

I think of Dr. Martin Luther who led the protestant Reformation back about 500 or so years ago. When the gospel was diluted, even almost extinct in regard to the masses of people, when the light of Christ was hid, when the souls of thousands were lost, hell bound, and when hope, faith, and love was dwindling Luther led a movement to restore faith, hope, and love to display the greatness of Christ and his love for his bride, the church.

On october the 31st, in 1517 Dr. Luther laid forth his rightous proclamation that revealed the main errors of the church in his area of that day. For it he led people to Christ though he was marked as a criminal, rebel, and heretic by the established church and civic leaders of his day.

Oh that we would have more fathers, mothers, and parents today to teach their children of the great heros of the faith of our past. What Luther did in his day was not only unsafe theologically but it was also unsafe for him physically.

The leaders wanted him excommunicated from the church and the civic leaders wanted him jailed. but with courage and conviction and confidence Luther marched ahead and continued to make disciples of the Lord.

His faith in that day led to thousands upon thosaunds coming to his home to sit as his table to hear him lecture and dialogue and talk about the Bible, the Lord, and life in the Lord. Sometimes he had so many people coming to him for discipleship that his wife Katie sometimes had trouble finding food and beds for all of them.

Oh that we would long for such a day to occur again when the talk around our table would be to make disciples of the Word of God and thus of Christ. What a glorious day it would be for parents to teach their children church history at the dinner table so they could instill courage into their children to live for Christ even if it meant giving their life for the cause of the Savior who gave his life.

Dear parent, this halloween share with your children about the great sacrifices made of someone in church history like a Luther. All the devils, ghosts, and demons of hell will tremble for sure when you give to your children the great knowledge of great men of church history! Go grab your pots and bags of candy, go have loads of fun at the festivals, the parties, and the events of the season, but for sure make sure to impart to your children some serious lesson about true men and women who fought with the devil and his angels with the sword of Christ!

Serving You,
Keith Sherlin; DD; Th.D

Lessons from Dad: Part 9 (A Pleasing and Kind Personality)

October 26th, 2009

One of the most important traits that I gained from my father has been his passion for people. Watching my father interact with people from his business throughout the years has shown me that he truly enjoys meeting people. I’m not sure my father understands the idea of “strangers.”

He truly enjoys meeting people, greeting others, and getting to know people from various backgrounds and various cultures. I can recall watching my dad spend 15, 20, to 30 minutes or more with customers in his store talking about all kinds of things in life. Much of the conversation never had anything to do with the service or item of interest in the business.

Conversations ranged from politics, home life, personal interests, hobbies, cultural issues of the day, to many other topics.

As a parent if you want your children to be successful in life you must model for them this one principle of having a kind and gentle personality with strangers. If you want your child to be a missionary you must model for them a love for people from all backgrounds of life. If you want your child to be a good witness of Christ your children need to see you loving people who are very different than you and your way of life.

Developing a pleasing personality is essential to developing healthy, mature, and balanced citizens, Christians, and husbands or wives. If a child grows up with a personality that is cold, withdrawn, rough, rude, or arrogant that child will be a failure in almost every area of life.

As a supervisor I’ve personally experienced the difference between those who have good personalities and those that do not have good personalities. It is by far easier to train a person for skills than it is to train them with good character, especially the character trait of a good personality.

Look at the life of Christ. Througout the gospels Jesus interacted with many people from all walks of life. He ate with sinners, with tax collectors, mingled with the poor, the rich, and conversed with the outcasts of society. He was a man with a pleasing personality.

Go to the Lord in prayer and ask him for ways that you can model a warm, caring, kind, and gentle personality to others so your children may learn what that means. Look for ways to invite people into your home to model this before your children. Find new ways to love others so your children can learn to love others and serve others.

Serving You,
Keith Sherlin; DD; Th.D

What are the Benefits and Costs of Making Disciples?

October 24th, 2009

Recently I found a discussion about the pluses and minuses of Public versus Private Schooling versus Home Schooling. I realized that they missed one more option; Disciple Like Jesus.

There are at least four Components of what Jesus did:  See Implications Here

1. Jesus told His disciples to follow Him, rather than unbelieving teachers.
2. Jesus was with His disciples all day long.
3. Jesus constantly taught His disciples scripture and showed them how to minister to others.
4. Jesus protected His disciples from the wolves He sent them out in twos

Here are the benefits of parents making disciples like Jesus did.

+is obedience to the Great Commission.
+will make you and your children more like Jesus.
+will grow you in the faith more than anything you have ever done.
+will do something for your children that will otherwise never happen in their lives.
+will leave you with no regrets, because you will have spent much time with your children.
+will create deep, lifetime relationships with your children.
+will enable parents to guide their children in God’s call on their lives.
+will unite your family.
+will bring scripture to life in your family.
+will equip you and your children to live for Christ.
+will bring godly fruit early in life for your children.
+will teach you and your children to glorify the Lord, and prepare you to do this in heaven.
+will lead your family into the abundant life that Jesus promised.
+will help you avoid the “wolves” that threaten your family; virtually all threats will be reduced or eliminated.
+will make the teen years of your children more blessed for you and for them.
+will prepare your child’s heart in way that you will be an influence in their life in the future.
+will produce an eternal impact for the Kingdom of God.

What are the costs related to the Disciple Like Jesus approach?

-will cause you to personally assume the task of making disciples; this is hard work.
-will cause you to repent often for failing to “walk the talk.”
-will show you how inadequate you are without God’s help.
-will cause you to ask for forgiveness of your family often as your actions are not biblical.
-will cause you discomfort as you reject some choices that most other parents are making.
-may cause you to critically evaluate and give up some activities that you now enjoy.
-will cost you a great amount of personal time.
-may cause you to give up some hobbies that take time away from your family.
-may cause you to quit your job or change it so that you can be with your children.
-may cause you to lose your status in the community as you quit or change your job.
-may cause you to sell cars, homes, boats, etc. so that you can make disciples.
-may leave you with less in the bank.
-may place you at odds with extended family who will encourage you to keep status quo.
-will cause you to stand out since you will be together as a family.
-will place your family under scrutiny since you will be doing things differently.
-will cause you to be vigilant in protecting your family, and that will lead to inconvenience.

You can take a Self Assessment here.

Blessings, Alan