Introduction

Alan Melton is the founder of Disciple Like Jesus ministry which is dedicated to teaching fathers and mothers how to truly disciple their children in order that the gospel might be spread. Paul Dean is the pastor of Providence Baptist Church in Greer, SC. In addition to biblical counseling and conference speaking, he hosts a live, call-in, radio show–Calling for Truth. You can become a fan of Disciple Like Jesus on facebook as well.

They just recently signed a publishing deal with Calvary Press.

Summary

Separated into five parts, Melton and Dean set out to radically shift your understanding of what biblical discipleship looks like. The foundation of the book is set in part one where the authors challenge current methods of parental discipleship. The second part takes a look at how Jesus discipled the twelve men in His small group and even more with the three in His “inner circle” (Peter, James and John). In this section, they show that you are the right and only person to disciple your children. Parts three through five offer numerous examples of how Christ discipled the apostles. Let me just say that the operative word to discipleship is “time.” It takes a lot of time and energy to properly and biblically disciple your children.

Review

As I said above, Disciple Like Jesus is a paradigm shifting book. If you approach the book as a parent who thinks you do a “good enough” job discipling your children, you will be humbled. Not by the author’s, rather, by their model which is none other than Jesus Christ. You will be challenged to realize your need to disciple yourself more before you can disciple your children. The author’s themselves share some of their radical life changes they made in order to better disciple their children. Some of this, however, comes from a perspective of personal conviction, but that conviction is rooted in the Bible.

Recommendation

If you are a youth or a children’s minister, this book would make an excellent gift for the parents of your children. If you are a parent, or plan to become a parent, this book should be on your shelf. There will be times that your struggle with maintaining the proper attitude with your children. It is nice to have a resource to turn to that will help to straighten you out and keep you on the right track. I pray that you pick up a copy today.

Perhaps the most exciting thing that happens when we begin to follow the example of Jesus in teaching our children is personal growth.  As we begin to teach on a regular basis, our teaching “muscle” grows and becomes stronger.

Jesus was constantly teaching His disciples; is it possible for parents to do the same?  Yes and no. Needless to say, none of us can measure up to Jesus.  On the other hand, we can become MORE like Jesus in the way we teach our children!

You don’t need to be trained

Now before you get all worried and intimidated about being an “expert” bible teacher, let me say this.  There is a common myth in Christian circles that we must be trained and/or certified prior to attempting to teach. This thought process flows from the world’s educational system, but this is not a biblical pattern.  Take a look at Jesus and His disciples.  None of them were certified!  Acts 4:13 Now when they saw the boldness of Peter and John, and perceived that they were uneducated and untrained men, they marveled. And they realized that they had been with Jesus. The disciples were average men; fishermen, tax collectors, tent makers, etc and they turned the world upside down for Jesus Christ.  Acts 17:6b “These who have turned the world upside down have come here too. These untrained, uneducated men changed the world.  So can we!

The word of God is powerful, more powerful than a two edged sword.  If we can read the word of God aloud, then we have what it takes to do the job. The Holy Scripture will do the work if we will simply commit to reading it aloud to our family.  As we begin to read the bible, God begins the process of equipping us. Sometimes His Holy Spirit will bring something in His word to our remembrance as we read it.  We can share that thought with our family.  We can ask questions about what we just read.  As our children get older, we can allow them to take a turn to teach God’s word.  As the word of God promises, His word will powerfully transform our lives if we will simply be faithful to read it aloud. 

Other tools and strategies

If you want a little more help, you can get a Study Bible.  Study bibles explain the meaning of God’s word at the bottom of each page.  This can help you to teach scriptural truths to your family. As we begin to expound upon God’s word, all we need to do is to stay one lesson ahead of our children.  If we will prepare a little in advance, the Lord will give us plenty to teach!  But even if we simply read God’s word without a comment, the Lord will make a positive impact on your family.  For more ideas, check out this page.

What are your thoughts about teaching your family?

Readers, I would love to hear your opinion about this.  Are you presently teaching the Bible to your family?  If so, what works for you? If not, do you think you could begin to read the Bible to your children each day?   What obstacles prevent you from getting started?

We don’t have to go far to find a great parenting book.  In fact, there is an abundance of people willing to teach you how to parent better.  But “great parenting” alone has yielded many of the poor results we see today.  Alan Melton and Paul Dean have gotten it right.  If we are to see young men and women who look like Christ, then we must disciple as Christ did.  In Disciple Like Jesus for Parents, you’ll be challenged to realize the death of “because I said so.”  Our children are reading our actions because they have been engineered by God to do so. Will they see Jesus or a detached set of beliefs you once held? Discipling our children is the longest running gig we’ll have, we’ve got to get it right!

 As a missionary to university students for years, it was my job to fill in the gaps left by the church and well-meaning parents who missed the mark. I can’t express the number of college students I counseled who had grown up in a Christian home but had little to no understanding of what it meant to be a Christian. Their parents had hoped they would “just get it.” Our children don’t “just get it” they must be taught to follow Christ: that is they must be discipled. Discipleship is the parenting wave that is now! We’ve got to model for our children how to live Godly lives just as Jesus modeled it for those the Father entrusted to Him. Read Disciple Like Jesus for Parents and prepare to have a paradigm shift. Your children are depending on it.

 Meeke Golden Addison

American Family Association

Mother of Moriah and Gabbi

I don’t think that Christians really grasp the immense value of moms to the church and to society at large. More than anyone else in our lifetime, during the first few weeks of our life, moms do for us what Jesus did for His disciples. Our lives are profoundly impacted by this Christ-like care that we receive. For most of us, these weeks or months or years were a special time in our lives when we experienced something very akin to the way Jesus made disciples. God designed disciple-making into every mother’s DNA.

Consider the way that Jesus made disciples. For the three years of His public ministry Jesus clearly showed the world how disciples are made. Here are a few of the remarkable similarities of what Jesus did and what moms do.

• Like moms, Jesus personally shepherded His disciples. Rather than delegate this task, Jesus realized that one day His disciples would change the world because of His personal influence. Like Jesus, moms of infants have a God-given maternal instinct that trusts no one else to the job of caring for her child. A mom alone knows what is best for her child. No one else knows her child like mom.  No one else loves her child like mom. No one else communicates better than mom with her child.  There is a bond between a mom and her child that is unique. Like Jesus, moms lay a strong foundation through their love that will remain with their child for life.
• Like moms, Jesus was with His disciples all day long. Rather than “quality time” Jesus invested “quantity time” in His disciples. He sacrificed personal time, convenience, sleep, and comforts to care for His disciples. The result was deep relationships and commitment that changed the world. These uneducated and untrained disciples turned the world upside down!  Moms of infants also sacrifice personal time, sleep, comforts and convenience to care for their children. Like Jesus, moms and children develop deep relationships and memories; the future rewards for mom, child, church and society are beyond measure.
• Like moms, Jesus frequently taught His disciples throughout the day. Jesus was constantly teaching scripture and biblical principles. He used the Deuteronomy 6 process; He taught them when they arose, when they walked by the way, when they sat in houses and when they lay down at night. Moms of infants sing to their children and play games with them and teach them to walk and talk throughout the day. Moms teach their children to love Jesus; they read the Bible to them, and they enjoy Christian songs and media.
• Like moms, Jesus showed his disciples how to minister to others. He took His disciples into the community and fed others, taught them, prayed for them and shared the gospel with them. Many moms of infants minister to others like Jesus did. They may take a meal or cookies and/or tracts to neighbors, pray for other moms with sick children, or witness or share the gospel with those they encounter. They may send encouraging notes to families in need. Many children benefit richly by being a part of their mom’s ministry to others. These moms and children are “salt and light” to the world in the same way that Jesus was “salt and light” with His disciples.
• Finally, like moms, Jesus protected His disciples from wolves.  Jesus didn’t send them out until they were fully trained, and they were grown men!  Then when Jesus did send His disciples out, He sent them out in twos. Moms of infants are like a mama bear; you better not mess with her babies! Like Jesus, many moms don’t trust their children to other people. It violates their consciences to turn their children over to someone they don’t know well. These moms keep their children in the safety and protection that only they will provide.

My mom died when I was five years old, but I can clearly recall times we spent together. She may or may not have been a Christian, but she demonstrated to me the most important virtue in the Bible, the virtue of love. She shepherded me, spent time with me, taught me and protected me; that’s the way Jesus made disciples. Over the last five decades I have had the good fortune to have been influenced by a number of godly people, but those five decades don’t hold a candle to five years with my mom.

Moms, remember that what you are doing has eternal value to the church. You are making disciples like Jesus did and never again will your child have the opportunity to be so deeply impacted for Christ! No pastor, evangelist, or missionary has a more important job. You are creating memories with your children that cannot be replaced. You are changing the world because you are like Jesus.

Church leaders are struggling to curtail the massive exodus of between seventy and ninety four percent of church children; well over two million are being lost each year. According to Barna Research, less than one half of one percent of young adults have a biblical worldview; that is less than one in two hundred!  Any incremental growth through evangelistic efforts is being countermanded by the failure to retain our own children. Many churches are trying to appeal to youth, but the exodus continues. How can we keep our children from being devoured by wolves and keep our churches growing? 

Jesus Provided a Method for Church Growth

The good news is that Jesus gave the church a clear example of how disciples are made and then commanded us “make disciples” in the Great Commission.

Unfortunately, rather than making disciples like Jesus, parents have been following secular society in the methods used to train their children. Parents turn their children over to be discipled by “experts,” peers and media… most of whom are unbelievers. So when children reach their late teens, they are choosing to follow those whom have discipled them: the world.

Jesus’ example and method is the emphasis of the book Disciple Like Jesus For Parents: Following Jesus’ Method and Enjoying the Blessings of Children, written by Alan Melton and Paul Dean. The book, according to Calvary Press, “is not just a book, it’s a movement.” Families across America and the world are being transformed by simply doing what Jesus did.

How can local churches grow their congregations? Equip the saints to follow the practices of Jesus in the way He made disciples. The key: Jesus made disciples and evangelized the world simultaneously. There are four major components in Jesus’ method of discipleship.

1. Jesus told His disciples to follow Him while He showed them how to follow God
2. Jesus was with His disciples for the majority of most days
3. Jesus constantly taught Scripture and showed His disciples how to minister
4. Jesus sent His disciples out in twos to protect them from wolves

What Are Some Implications of Jesus’ Method for Families?

Like Jesus, parents develop deep relationships with their children. Parents assume the responsibility to disciple their children and show their children how to follow Christ. They are with their children for “quantity time” rather than only “quality time.” Parents teach scripture and biblical principles to their children frequently throughout the day. They take their children into the world to minister and share the gospel with others. Finally, parents protect their children from the wolves. Like Jesus, parents send their children out only after they have been fully trained, and then with other trusted adults.  Remember that Jesus was protecting grown men from the wolves, and protection is needed even more for children.

Practical Ways the Church Can Encourage and Support Family Discipleship

Here are some ways that churches can keep the focus on Jesus’ method of discipleship:

• Create a status quo of parental discipleship, beginning with new parents.  Messages from the pulpit, parent testimonies, and church leaders setting the example with their families are some ways to get started.
• Provide training for parents on topics of discipling children at various ages.  Classes on getting ready for kids, shepherding babies and toddlers, family devotions, child discipline, family outreach, dangers of the cyber world, are some sample topics to offer.
• Encourage families to be together during church activities and ministries. If parents are to shepherd their children, they need to be with their sheep. Develop ministries that allow families to serve the Lord together.

As parents make disciples of their children like Jesus, they develop deep relationships with their children and can better weather the storms of life. Cultural maladies such as teen rebellion, premarital sex, and church defection are reduced or eliminated.

As we become successful in retaining future generations while taking the gospel to the world, church growth can become dynamic and permanent.

Learn more about Disciple Like Jesus and buy the book NOW at: http://www.DiscipleLikeJesus.com

Alan Melton, founder

Disciple Like Jesus

Below is a review from “Michigan Momma,” who has a family blog: 

Have you heard of Disciple Like Jesus For Parents?

If not, I would encourage you to find a copy and read it immediately (or as soon as you can work your way through it as it sits on the back of your toilet – where I personally get most of my reading done).

I am not all the way through it yet, so I will hold off on an official review – yet I’m enjoying it and feeling quite convicted as well.  The author is obviously pro-homeschooling, yet often says that is not the ONLY way to go.  Even if you aren’t homeschooling, don’t toss this book aside as I believe it has some great ideas, information and grounded Biblical teaching – regardless of your schooling choices.

One of the points brought up is how we spend our time.  So many of us (myself included – that’s for sure!) sorta mosey on through life, trying our best just to keep our head above water at times ~ we forget to be intentional with our time.  Homeschooling does offer me a wonderful blessing in simply TIME with my kids.  I’m with them at breakfast, during lessons and workbook time, teaching them chores, reminding them to pick up their clothes in the laundry room (AGAIN!), lunch time, computer time, play time, dress-up time, coloring & painting & cooking & crocheting & building airplanes out of legos.  I get to lay them down for quiet time, read a book to them, help them dry their hair after a bath.  I have to break up fights….many fights throughout the day.  I need to feed them ~ *that’s* a never-ending process, eh?!  And it’s hard.  Really hard. I have to APOLOGIZE.  Often.  I’m not a saint, not wonder-woman, nor do I have some amazing gifting from God.  I’m normal.  Incredibly normal.

Yet really, when I am honest with myself, no matter how hard it is – this TIME with my children is precious.  It *is* a blessing.  And I need to be intentional with the TIME I have been given with these babies.  I have five children, the oldest is only 8 – and already I am learning how quickly this TIME is slipping by.  I have to quit waiting for them to “get older”.  They don’t need to be at a certain age for me to disciple them.  They need me NOW.

So I’m looking at the TIME I have with them, each day, a little differently.  Yes, it’s still hard.  Yes, I can’t believe how many times I have to wipe down the table each and every day (hello?!?!?).  Yet never again will I have this opportunity with my babies.  Never again will they be so willing to listen, so willing to learn, so willing to work.  Right now they want to do everything I do ~ what am I showing them?  About God?  About this life?  About family?  About love?

Ok, well, that topic got away from me, sorry.  I really just wanted to recommend this book:  Disciple Like Jesus:  for Parents.

Now go love on those babies~

Michigan Momma

It’s shocking.

In the average Christian home, only five hours a week are spent on spiritual training, while a whopping 80 hours a week are spent taking in influences from other sources.

Is it any wonder that so many of our young people walk away from their faith after graduating from high school?

In their new book, Disciple Like Jesus for Parents, authors Alan Melton and Paul Dean cite this statistic and take on the very daunting and vital task of helping parents beat the odds.

The book focuses on using the model of how Jesus discipled and applying it to our parenting.

First, the authors clearly and effectively lay out the battle parents are up against and the urgency of taking action:

“The hearts and minds of your children are being shaped by what they take in on a regular basis. If you are not filling their minds with a biblical worldview they are by necessity being molded into the world’s way of thinking.”

“Your children have been given to you by God for a very short season and one day you will present them to God as your primary fruit.”

Melton and Dean lay out the principles that Jesus used with his disciples, including quantity time, teaching Scripture, combating peer influences, asking questions and modeling an intimate relationship with the Father.

They then give practical ways for living this out with your children on a daily basis in a world full of cultural influences and distractions.

I found this book to be a powerful reminder that as a parent, I will one day be held accountable for how I teach and raise my children. Since reading it, I have found myself being much more intentional about weaving my faith into everyday conversations with my kids.

Although I don’t homeschool, as Melton does with his children, I have been spurred to cut out certain influences and set aside more one-on-one time with each of my children. It hasn’t been easy. My teenager especially fought it. But I’ve already seen attitude changes and good spiritual conversations as a result.

Melinda Means, Christian Blogger

Here is a book review by Kristi Stephens:

As you may have read in “Radical Discipleship,” the issue of what discipleship meant to first century believers in Jesus deeply affected our understanding of the nature and weight of our job as parents.  This issue is the primary factor which turned my husband and I, who always said we would never homeschool our children, in favor of taking full responsibility for the education of our children. 

For this reason, I was intrigued to read and review Alan Melton and Paul Dean’s new book, Disciple Like Jesus for Parents .

It is rare that I read a Christian book and want to buy copies for everyone I know and pass it out.  That is exactly what I wish I could do with Melton and Dean’s thoughtful work!  This is far from the typical parenting book full of “how-to’s” and discipline techniques.  While there is definitely a need for books like that, Melton and Dean have taken on the challenge of describing a comprehensive philosophy of parenting based on Jesus’ approach of discipleship. 

This book would be interesting to read alongside of Ham and Beemer’s Already Gone, which I reviewed back in July.  Both books are addressing the fact that the majority of “Christian” young people will end up walking away from their faith, or at least disappearing from the church.  Both raise some excellent questions and challenge the status quo among typical American Evangelical churches.  The difference, from my perspective, is that Already Gone addresses the issue primarily from the perspective of church culture and leadership, while Disciple Like Jesus places the burden of change on parents.

Melton and Dean break the book into five sections -
1. Are you discipling your children like Jesus?
2. Jesus told his disciples to follow him while He showed them how to follow God
3. Jesus was with His disciples and He took them into the world
4. Jesus constantly taught Scripture and showed His disciples how to minister
5. Jesus sent His disciples out in twos to protect them from wolves

While I agreed whole heartedly with every section of this book and would consider myself in philosophical agreement, this book was still deeply challenging, convicting, and thought-provoking.  There is no doubt in my mind that some of their pointed statements about parental influence, the practice of constantly segmenting by age in the church, and protecting our children in a multitude of ways will raise some eyebrows or even make some people downright angry.  But wow – does it need to be said!  Now the challenge is to us as parents to listen and be willing to change our mentality and habits to pattern ourselves more closely after Christ in the quest of raising true disciples of Jesus.

I truly appreciated that while sometimes divisive issues such as homeschool versus traditional school and dating versus courting were touched on, I felt that they avoided becoming legalistic or overly narrow in their view.  For instance, they challenge parents to consider how to spend the maximum amount of time possible with their children actively teaching and discipling them – but they are careful to point out that this is not a homeschool/ public school/ private school issue.  You can homeschool your children and fail to truly disciple them, and you could be very intentional about discipleship while your children attend traditional school.

Fellow parents, I strongly encourage you to consider reading this book.  Read it with an open heart – be ready for God to challenge you.  This is not the way most of us are currently parenting – it is not the way most of us were raised.  But perhaps that is what is contributing to two million children leaving the church every year, never to return.

It is time for us to take responsibility to truly disciple our own children the way Jesus discipled the twelve.

Kristi  Stephens

I recently read a great book by Dr. Tom Cocklereece entitled Simple Discipleship: How to Make Disciples in the 21st Century.  The book maps out a process for local churches to  implement discipleship into their congregations.  After personally being involved in Total Quality Management in my own business prior to selling it, I can say that Tom’s approach is well designed to address every step of implementation and to measure the effectiveness of the discipleship process.  Jesus said that we will know a tree by its fruit: “Either make the tree good and its fruit good, or else make the tree bad and its fruit bad; for a tree is known by its fruit” (Matthew 12:33) As local churches examine the fruit of their discipleship process, they will know whether the process needs to be changed.  Below is an article by Dr. Cocklereece with an introduction to his book.  – Alan Melton

Simple Discipleship for Families: Simple Discipleship Virtual Book Tour

Virtually every week we hear another news report of the faith values of a family being challenged by public school officials. A sampling of the reports might include:

• A teacher or assistant who was disciplined for wearing a cross necklace
• A coach who was fired for leading booster club parents in a prayer
• A student who was suspended for reading a Bible during homeroom

 The stories go on and on and they are a sign of an increasingly secular culture that is becoming more intolerant of Christians. It must be noted that the reports almost always involve Christians and rarely students or teachers of other religions. The reaction of Christian families is to seek other options such as home or church schools.

 The search for genuine solutions for developing the faith of families and children cannot come quickly enough. However, American Christians are easily entertained and intoxicated by pop culture. Many have subscribed to Christian religion instead of a growing relationship with Jesus Christ. There are 2,462 miles between New York City and Los Angeles, supporting a description of American Christianity as being 2,462 miles wide and about an inch deep. There are many things that contribute to the shallow spiritual condition of Christianity today to name a few: the breakdown of the nuclear family, replacing spiritual depth with superficial religious activity, acceptance of same gender marriages, and rejection of marriage and increase of cohabitation as a norm. The church will need a discipleship revolution and a new spiritual awakening to overcome the current state of affairs.

 Discipleship is difficult for the most committed parents as illustrated by the following quote from page 74 of my book, Simple Discipleship: 

 ”I wrote this chapter as I vacationed at the home of my daughter, Dana. She has two sons, Ethan five, and Christian, three. I suppose I thought it a good idea to be involved with children as I wrote about children’s ministry. While I certainly had a good time with my son-in-law, daughter, and grandsons, my strategy for writing did not quite work out. But I must confess that the week still proved to be useful for the SD writing project. I was reminded of how difficult it is for both parents to perform well at work, pay the bills, remember to put the trash on the street, take one child to school, take the sick baby to the doctor, pay the sitter even though the child is at the doctor, pickup one child from school, prepare supper, make an unexpected visit to the emergency room for a sick husband, get the kids fed and bathed, say their evening prayers, get them to bed, and start all over again. It is easy to forget the busyness and stress of modern families that can interfere with spiritual formation in the home. Satan appears to be winning the spiritual battles in the best of Christian families today since little if any time is devoted to family prayer, Bible reading, and training the children about what it means to be an active and growing Christian.”

 Simple Discipleship provides a framework of biblical values and expectations that families may use in the spiritual formation of their children with the church in a supportive role. Discipleship belongs in the home, but the church must function as the extended faith community that provides and supports the family from a chosen accountability perspective. In this role the family and church team together in community in spiritual development. In contrast, many parents today leave discipleship to the church and provide little or no spiritual formation in the home.

 Simple Discipleship also provides what is called Simple Evangelism as a tool for families and churches. The front side of the card is used to share Christ and the reverse is used to initially disciple the new believer. The cards may be ordered on the link below.

 Learn more about Simple Discipleship and buy the book NOW at http://www.simplediscipleship.com

 Dr. Tom Cocklereece, author

Simple Discipleship

Saturday, April 10th, 2010 in Knoxville, Tennessee 9:00 to 5:00

Join Brian Byars and Alan Melton to examine the way Jesus made disciples and how parents can do the same. Brian will be sharing practical ways of how young parents can make disciples of their children from the time they are born. In addition to the main sessions, breakout sessions will be offered by First Baptist Concord on a wide range of topics, including Spiritually Shepherding Babies & Toddlers, Families in Crisis, Protecting Your Marriage, Adoption, Shaping Your Child’s Sexuality, Single Parenting, and other age specific topics. A copy of the book Disciple Like Jesus For Parents is included for each family.

Title — Surviving Parenthood
Subject –Making disciples of children: from birth to young adults
Main Session Speakers — Alan Melton and Brian Byars
Date: April 10, 2010
Time: Saturday 9:00 to 5:00
Cost: $20/person for advance reservation
Also included: One copy of book per family- Disciple Like Jesus For Parents
Location: First Baptist Concord
Address: 11704 Kingston Pike, Knoxville TN 37934
RSVP or more information: