Below is a review from “Michigan Momma,” who has a family blog: 

Have you heard of Disciple Like Jesus For Parents?

If not, I would encourage you to find a copy and read it immediately (or as soon as you can work your way through it as it sits on the back of your toilet – where I personally get most of my reading done).

I am not all the way through it yet, so I will hold off on an official review – yet I’m enjoying it and feeling quite convicted as well.  The author is obviously pro-homeschooling, yet often says that is not the ONLY way to go.  Even if you aren’t homeschooling, don’t toss this book aside as I believe it has some great ideas, information and grounded Biblical teaching – regardless of your schooling choices.

One of the points brought up is how we spend our time.  So many of us (myself included – that’s for sure!) sorta mosey on through life, trying our best just to keep our head above water at times ~ we forget to be intentional with our time.  Homeschooling does offer me a wonderful blessing in simply TIME with my kids.  I’m with them at breakfast, during lessons and workbook time, teaching them chores, reminding them to pick up their clothes in the laundry room (AGAIN!), lunch time, computer time, play time, dress-up time, coloring & painting & cooking & crocheting & building airplanes out of legos.  I get to lay them down for quiet time, read a book to them, help them dry their hair after a bath.  I have to break up fights….many fights throughout the day.  I need to feed them ~ *that’s* a never-ending process, eh?!  And it’s hard.  Really hard. I have to APOLOGIZE.  Often.  I’m not a saint, not wonder-woman, nor do I have some amazing gifting from God.  I’m normal.  Incredibly normal.

Yet really, when I am honest with myself, no matter how hard it is – this TIME with my children is precious.  It *is* a blessing.  And I need to be intentional with the TIME I have been given with these babies.  I have five children, the oldest is only 8 – and already I am learning how quickly this TIME is slipping by.  I have to quit waiting for them to “get older”.  They don’t need to be at a certain age for me to disciple them.  They need me NOW.

So I’m looking at the TIME I have with them, each day, a little differently.  Yes, it’s still hard.  Yes, I can’t believe how many times I have to wipe down the table each and every day (hello?!?!?).  Yet never again will I have this opportunity with my babies.  Never again will they be so willing to listen, so willing to learn, so willing to work.  Right now they want to do everything I do ~ what am I showing them?  About God?  About this life?  About family?  About love?

Ok, well, that topic got away from me, sorry.  I really just wanted to recommend this book:  Disciple Like Jesus:  for Parents.

Now go love on those babies~

Michigan Momma

It’s shocking.

In the average Christian home, only five hours a week are spent on spiritual training, while a whopping 80 hours a week are spent taking in influences from other sources.

Is it any wonder that so many of our young people walk away from their faith after graduating from high school?

In their new book, Disciple Like Jesus for Parents, authors Alan Melton and Paul Dean cite this statistic and take on the very daunting and vital task of helping parents beat the odds.

The book focuses on using the model of how Jesus discipled and applying it to our parenting.

First, the authors clearly and effectively lay out the battle parents are up against and the urgency of taking action:

“The hearts and minds of your children are being shaped by what they take in on a regular basis. If you are not filling their minds with a biblical worldview they are by necessity being molded into the world’s way of thinking.”

“Your children have been given to you by God for a very short season and one day you will present them to God as your primary fruit.”

Melton and Dean lay out the principles that Jesus used with his disciples, including quantity time, teaching Scripture, combating peer influences, asking questions and modeling an intimate relationship with the Father.

They then give practical ways for living this out with your children on a daily basis in a world full of cultural influences and distractions.

I found this book to be a powerful reminder that as a parent, I will one day be held accountable for how I teach and raise my children. Since reading it, I have found myself being much more intentional about weaving my faith into everyday conversations with my kids.

Although I don’t homeschool, as Melton does with his children, I have been spurred to cut out certain influences and set aside more one-on-one time with each of my children. It hasn’t been easy. My teenager especially fought it. But I’ve already seen attitude changes and good spiritual conversations as a result.

Melinda Means

Here is a book review by Kristi Stephens:

As you may have read in “Radical Discipleship,” the issue of what discipleship meant to first century believers in Jesus deeply affected our understanding of the nature and weight of our job as parents.  This issue is the primary factor which turned my husband and I, who always said we would never homeschool our children, in favor of taking full responsibility for the education of our children. 

For this reason, I was intrigued to read and review Alan Melton and Paul Dean’s new book, Disciple Like Jesus for Parents .

It is rare that I read a Christian book and want to buy copies for everyone I know and pass it out.  That is exactly what I wish I could do with Melton and Dean’s thoughtful work!  This is far from the typical parenting book full of “how-to’s” and discipline techniques.  While there is definitely a need for books like that, Melton and Dean have taken on the challenge of describing a comprehensive philosophy of parenting based on Jesus’ approach of discipleship. 

This book would be interesting to read alongside of Ham and Beemer’s Already Gone, which I reviewed back in July.  Both books are addressing the fact that the majority of “Christian” young people will end up walking away from their faith, or at least disappearing from the church.  Both raise some excellent questions and challenge the status quo among typical American Evangelical churches.  The difference, from my perspective, is that Already Gone addresses the issue primarily from the perspective of church culture and leadership, while Disciple Like Jesus places the burden of change on parents.

Melton and Dean break the book into five sections -
1. Are you discipling your children like Jesus?
2. Jesus told his disciples to follow him while He showed them how to follow God
3. Jesus was with His disciples and He took them into the world
4. Jesus constantly taught Scripture and showed His disciples how to minister
5. Jesus sent His disciples out in twos to protect them from wolves

While I agreed whole heartedly with every section of this book and would consider myself in philosophical agreement, this book was still deeply challenging, convicting, and thought-provoking.  There is no doubt in my mind that some of their pointed statements about parental influence, the practice of constantly segmenting by age in the church, and protecting our children in a multitude of ways will raise some eyebrows or even make some people downright angry.  But wow – does it need to be said!  Now the challenge is to us as parents to listen and be willing to change our mentality and habits to pattern ourselves more closely after Christ in the quest of raising true disciples of Jesus.

I truly appreciated that while sometimes divisive issues such as homeschool versus traditional school and dating versus courting were touched on, I felt that they avoided becoming legalistic or overly narrow in their view.  For instance, they challenge parents to consider how to spend the maximum amount of time possible with their children actively teaching and discipling them – but they are careful to point out that this is not a homeschool/ public school/ private school issue.  You can homeschool your children and fail to truly disciple them, and you could be very intentional about discipleship while your children attend traditional school.

Fellow parents, I strongly encourage you to consider reading this book.  Read it with an open heart – be ready for God to challenge you.  This is not the way most of us are currently parenting – it is not the way most of us were raised.  But perhaps that is what is contributing to two million children leaving the church every year, never to return.

It is time for us to take responsibility to truly disciple our own children the way Jesus discipled the twelve.

Kristi  Stephens

I recently read a great book by Dr. Tom Cocklereece entitled Simple Discipleship: How to Make Disciples in the 21st Century.  The book maps out a process for local churches to  implement discipleship into their congregations.  After personally being involved in Total Quality Management in my own business prior to selling it, I can say that Tom’s approach is well designed to address every step of implementation and to measure the effectiveness of the discipleship process.  Jesus said that we will know a tree by its fruit: “Either make the tree good and its fruit good, or else make the tree bad and its fruit bad; for a tree is known by its fruit” (Matthew 12:33) As local churches examine the fruit of their discipleship process, they will know whether the process needs to be changed.  Below is an article by Dr. Cocklereece with an introduction to his book.  – Alan Melton

Simple Discipleship for Families: Simple Discipleship Virtual Book Tour

Virtually every week we hear another news report of the faith values of a family being challenged by public school officials. A sampling of the reports might include:

• A teacher or assistant who was disciplined for wearing a cross necklace
• A coach who was fired for leading booster club parents in a prayer
• A student who was suspended for reading a Bible during homeroom

 The stories go on and on and they are a sign of an increasingly secular culture that is becoming more intolerant of Christians. It must be noted that the reports almost always involve Christians and rarely students or teachers of other religions. The reaction of Christian families is to seek other options such as home or church schools.

 The search for genuine solutions for developing the faith of families and children cannot come quickly enough. However, American Christians are easily entertained and intoxicated by pop culture. Many have subscribed to Christian religion instead of a growing relationship with Jesus Christ. There are 2,462 miles between New York City and Los Angeles, supporting a description of American Christianity as being 2,462 miles wide and about an inch deep. There are many things that contribute to the shallow spiritual condition of Christianity today to name a few: the breakdown of the nuclear family, replacing spiritual depth with superficial religious activity, acceptance of same gender marriages, and rejection of marriage and increase of cohabitation as a norm. The church will need a discipleship revolution and a new spiritual awakening to overcome the current state of affairs.

 Discipleship is difficult for the most committed parents as illustrated by the following quote from page 74 of my book, Simple Discipleship: 

 ”I wrote this chapter as I vacationed at the home of my daughter, Dana. She has two sons, Ethan five, and Christian, three. I suppose I thought it a good idea to be involved with children as I wrote about children’s ministry. While I certainly had a good time with my son-in-law, daughter, and grandsons, my strategy for writing did not quite work out. But I must confess that the week still proved to be useful for the SD writing project. I was reminded of how difficult it is for both parents to perform well at work, pay the bills, remember to put the trash on the street, take one child to school, take the sick baby to the doctor, pay the sitter even though the child is at the doctor, pickup one child from school, prepare supper, make an unexpected visit to the emergency room for a sick husband, get the kids fed and bathed, say their evening prayers, get them to bed, and start all over again. It is easy to forget the busyness and stress of modern families that can interfere with spiritual formation in the home. Satan appears to be winning the spiritual battles in the best of Christian families today since little if any time is devoted to family prayer, Bible reading, and training the children about what it means to be an active and growing Christian.”

 Simple Discipleship provides a framework of biblical values and expectations that families may use in the spiritual formation of their children with the church in a supportive role. Discipleship belongs in the home, but the church must function as the extended faith community that provides and supports the family from a chosen accountability perspective. In this role the family and church team together in community in spiritual development. In contrast, many parents today leave discipleship to the church and provide little or no spiritual formation in the home.

 Simple Discipleship also provides what is called Simple Evangelism as a tool for families and churches. The front side of the card is used to share Christ and the reverse is used to initially disciple the new believer. The cards may be ordered on the link below.

 Learn more about Simple Discipleship and buy the book NOW at http://www.simplediscipleship.com

 Dr. Tom Cocklereece, author

Simple Discipleship

Saturday, April 10th, 2010 in Knoxville, Tennessee 9:00 to 5:00

Join Brian Byars and Alan Melton to examine the way Jesus made disciples and how parents can do the same. Brian will be sharing practical ways of how young parents can make disciples of their children from the time they are born. In addition to the main sessions, breakout sessions will be offered by First Baptist Concord on a wide range of topics, including Spiritually Shepherding Babies & Toddlers, Families in Crisis, Protecting Your Marriage, Adoption, Shaping Your Child’s Sexuality, Single Parenting, and other age specific topics. A copy of the book Disciple Like Jesus For Parents is included for each family.

Title — Surviving Parenthood
Subject –Making disciples of children: from birth to young adults
Main Session Speakers — Alan Melton and Brian Byars
Date: April 10, 2010
Time: Saturday 9:00 to 5:00
Cost: $20/person for advance reservation
Also included: One copy of book per family- Disciple Like Jesus For Parents
Location: First Baptist Concord
Address: 11704 Kingston Pike, Knoxville TN 37934
RSVP or more information:

In the book “Disciple Like Jesus” Alan and Paul mention this: “Jesus also showed them [his disciples] scriptural principles in action. It is one thing to teach theoretical principles. The Pharisees knew the law. But it is something entirely different when the teacher shows by example how Scripture is actually lived out.” (p. 158).

In looking back at my father’s life I see how he taught me the ways of Christ by modeling much of the Savior’s life in how he lived. In one particular area I learned that not all truth is of the same importance. Some truths take higher priority over other truths.

How did I learn this from my dad? Here is a good example that I recall over the years. My dad founded and operates a business and over the years he has seen various Presidents come and go. Some decisions made by the federal government were good for his business and some decisions were not good for his business. Yet no matter what he thought of the President of the Unisted States he would never speak in a derogatory way about the president. As he used to say: “He is still the president and the Commander in Chief of our Country and he deserves our respect whether we agree with him or not.”

In other ways I saw my dad learn to build relationships with people that he differed with in many areas. Dad always put forth the best effort to find something he could agree upon with another person before focusing on the areas where he did not agree with the person.

Additionally, I watched my dad maintain a family even when there were different views and beliefs among the family. He understood the power of harmony, organized power from those where agreement could be found, and realized that to accomplish large goals he must put away pride and work with those that he differed with in lower level truth areas.

Take the time to interact with your children. Look for ways to show them how to cooperate with others. There are great benefits of making disciples within your family.

Serving You,
Keith Sherlin; DD; Th.D

In 1999, my business partner and I sold a company we founded in 1983. In its eighteen year history, the business had been dedicated to the Lord and grew to one hundred thirty employees. Our business was centered on strong relationships and service to our customers. Unfortunately, the company that acquired the business abandoned that vision. They dismantled the processes and practices of the founders and they got rid of our customer service managers. Their focus was on more profit but they lost a massive amount of business. Customer relationships were gone. Within a few short years the new company had lost all the major accounts and the number of employees had fallen from one-hundred thirty to only nine.

What is happening in the church is not very different. Jesus spent three years showing us how to make disciples. He taught His disciples in the morning, when they sat, when they traveled, and when they were about to retire for the day. He personally assumed the task and He constantly performed it. He protected His disciples by sending them out in twos. He presented His most important work, the work of making disciples, to God just prior to His crucifixion. Then He commanded us to make disciples.

Like the new owners of the company mentioned above, when it comes to discipling our children, we have abandoned the practices of the founder. Jesus gave us a model to follow. He is the Lord of the universe. Jesus knows how to make disciples better than anyone. Why would we ignore His approach?
 
Since many parents are not following Jesus in this regard, many have lost their relationships with their children. The church is reaping the huge consequences of not following Christ in her discipleship practice. Satan knows how Jesus made disciples as described in the four components. He has convinced Christians to give their children to him nearly all day long. Satan is using these four components to make disciples of his own out of our children.

Again, Jesus said, “The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly” (John 10:10). Will your children be discipled by Satan or by you? Will your children be vulnerable to destruction by the devil or will your family enter the abundant life that Jesus promised?

Mercy, how my dad did this for all of his career and still does today I will never know? For those of you following these posts my dad has been a jeweler most all of his life.

He will sometimes sit down at his workbench and handle a watch or clock for hours upon hours. Sometimes even while at home he will be sitting at a desk working on a watch or clock.

He will have a glass eye loop on his face and for hours upon hours he will handle tiny screws, springs, gears, and parts to a watch or clock.

What has this taught me in life? First, to accomplish tasks in life we must have the ability to concentrate. Good work requires mental concentration. It requires for us to secondly exhibit patience. To concentrate on something requires that we have patience. Third, this has taught me the power and value of self-discipline. When many in the world today suffer from attention deficit disorder, a problem whereby people can’t concentrate upon a subject or task for long periods of time, I am thankful that I have this memory and pattern to see in the life of my father. It has helped me to learn how to focus and concentrate on matters in my life.

Dear parents, what are you imparting to your children in the area of patience and concentration? Are they learning from you to be impulsive, or are they learning to tackle a task that may be tough, tedious, or troubling, yet doable if they concentrate and practice self-discipline?  Here is a self assessment that will help you determine if you are making disciples like Jesus did.

The Bible says, “for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control” (2 Tim. 1:7).

Serving You,
Keith Sherlin; DD; Th.D

For those of you following the previous posts you know that my father grew up on a farm. School and education was not easy for he and his brothers and sisters as the life on the farm took priority in those days.

However, though my father was not skilled in literature he was a man of many common trade skills. Of these skills I saw in him a man who could think logically. He had an art of logical thinking in proportion.

What do I mean by that? Have you ever met someone who had the right truth but the wrong weight of emphasis on that truth? Let me explain further. Have you ever met someone who had the right idea politically on some issue but the amount of emphasis on that issue outweighed every other issue, maybe even to the point where they were maybe even obnoxious and pushy with that one area?

I’ve learned from my father that it is important to think clearly and to diagnose ideas or issues with the proper amount of weight/emphasis attached to those issues. In other words, not every issue in life is a major issue. Not every problem is a crisis. Not every subject is as important as every other subject. Not every wrong is as serioous as every other wrong. Some rights are more important that other rights.

Accurate thinking means that a person not only discovers the right idea but that they also apply that idea correctly in proportion to what it deserves.

I’m not really sure exactly how I learned this from my father. I suppose it has taken place by watching him in several areas of his life. I’ve watched him make time for his family growing up. Dad always valued his time with his family. It was a priority. He could have traveled in his business, but he opted to stay local for his family. He could have led the way in founding other businesses but that would have taken time away from his family.

I learned it also from the way that he handled the prices of his work and labor. Not every job required a high price. For work that required very little effort he made sure the price of the work reflected that proportionally.

I also learned it in how he handled issues in our lives with discipline. Not every wrong doing demanded the same amount of punishment.

Additionally, I learned that sometimes even when we were doing something wrong my dad would examine the issue to see how serious of a wrong it was and then give his advice on it in that light. For instance, if dad knew we were doing something wrong he sometimes would tell us that it was wrong but that if we were going to do it anyway then there were some better ways and even safer ways of doing what we were doing. I suppose that was a way to keep us safer so that we would not be hurt so bad that we would not have the time needed to grow up or to overcome that area of immaturity in our lives.

Now to some of you that is possibly a scary idea. To some that means that my dad endorsed wrong. That is not accurate thinking though to think in that way. For example, logical thinking requires that we look at the full picture and see all of the details that we can see in order to make a good judgment or decision.

Here is an example from my home life that reflects a logical and careful mind of my dad. Teenagers, especially boys, are prone to get into fights with other boys when they disagree. My dad did did not condone fighting nor did he ever want us, his sons, to get into a fight.

However, knowing that such things were probable in the life of boys growing up in the country dad took steps to teach us how to defend ourselves if we did indeed get into a fight.

Of course, some of those fights were foolish, uneccessary, and simply fought over dumb issues of pride. I think dad knew that and he tried to steer us in different ways.

Dad knew that it was important to try and teach us how to make peace but that it was more important to teach us how to defend ourselves if peace was not a possible outcome. Self-defense could mean the defense of our life or the life or health of another! Had my dad been so focused just on the peacemaking part that he failed to teach us boys how to fight and defend ourselves then we may have been seriously hurt or possibly even killed had we got into a scuffle with no knowledge of how to defend ourselves properly. I’m sure dad knew that we would sometimes use this knowledge for the bad instead of the good. And we did! But due to his love for us and his love for our safety dad chose to teach us how to fight in order to give us a better opportunity should we get into a scuffle.

Dad modeled, though certainly not all the time, for us balance in thinking. Sometimes of course he too was unbalanced, as we all are from time to time. He attempted to think proportionally to the circumstances around us and around the situation. Some truths or rights were more important that other truths and rights. Some wrong were worse than other wrongs.

Jesus taught us this same principle. Some sins are worse than other sins (John 19:11). Some laws are more important than other laws (Matt. 23:23). Some virtues are higher than other virtues (Matt. 22:37-40; 1 Cor. 13:13).

Logical thinking, accurate thinking, balanced thinking will be of such nature where it seeks not only to find the right answer but it will also seek to apply that answer to the situation at hand with the right degree of of emphasis.

How are you doing in teaching your children that there are different degrees of sin, different degrees of right and wrong? Or are you teaching your children that everything is so absolutely important that nothing takes priority over anything? If you are doing the second then your children are going to be in serious trouble when they try and relate to people in the world or when they try and discern the difference between serious issues of life and minor issues of life. Let me give you some examples of people I’ve met who can’t see or think logically and proportionally.

I’ve met police officers who think every infraction of the law is just as serious and deserves as much punishment as any other law violation? Scary, is it not? I’ve met fathers who believe that the spanking of children should be just as stern and with the same amount of spankings with each and every infraction no matter the difference of infraction. I’ve met pastors and ministerial leaders who think that every doctrine in the Bible is just as important as every other doctrine and there is to be no allowance for people to disagree with any doctrine he holds as true if there is to be true fellowship in the Lord. Of course, most of these pastors don’t have too many true friends either, a self-correcting problem, or at least should be anyway.

On the other end though are the products of those who are subjected to these types of leaders. Those who have encountered that police officer who chooses to write a ticket to that man driving 8 mph over the speed limit to get to the hospital when his wife was in the emergency room causes that person to become bitter and disgruntled with the law enforcement officials and the government. The child that grows up in a home where dad or mom spank or discipline every wrong with the same of amount of punishment become angry, disgruntled, and often bitter adults. Church members that sit under pastoral teaching or teachers of the Bible that make every doctrine of the Bible an essential doctrine are often mean spirited, divisive, and unloving people in the community.

My point? It is crucial to learn how to think in balanced, logical, and proportional ways in order to raise logical, balanced, and mature children.  Jesus set the ultimate example for us in the way he made disciples.  Take a look at the four components of how Jesus made disciples and their implications on parenting.

Find someone who knows you well and ask them to see if they see any unbalanced ways in your approach. You might be surprised as to what they see in you that you do not see.

Serving You,
Keith Sherlin; DD; Th.D

Jesus showed us for three years how to make disciples. Then He commanded us to “make disciples.” What lessons can parents learn from the practices of Jesus that will produce great blessings and memories? This article will list the last five of a top ten list.

Part 2. Thousands of books have been written on parenting. Several research organizations indicate these books have not helped parents very much. Two million children are permanently leaving the church each year and out of every two hundred young adults, only one has a biblical worldview! Jesus said that “we will know a tree by its fruit,” and the “tree” looks pretty sick.

Can we learn some things about parenting from Jesus Christ Himself? After all, He showed us for 3 years how to make disciples, and then commanded us to do the same. Below you will find the last five of a “top ten” list about how parents can obey the Great Commission and enjoy the great blessings of parenting.

5.  Provide loving correcting to your children, and never discipline in anger. In the same way that a coach corrects his players, parents need even more to provide loving correction and guidance.

4.  Frequently teach your children about God and scripture each day; that’s what Jesus did! Take advantage of time in the home, in the car, at the park, etc to talk about the goodness of the Lord.

3.  Take your children into the world to minister to others.  Find opportunities to take meals, cookies, flowers, cards, and tracks to others in need.  Pray for, minister to and give testimonies to the needy. 

2.  Protect your lambs from the many wolves in our culture by being with them.  In Psalm 23 Jesus the Shepherd was with His flock as they walked through “the valley of the shadow of death.”

1.  Once your children are fully trained, send them out with other trusted adults. After training His adult disciples, Jesus sent them out in twos.  He said “I send you out as lambs among wolves.”

Here are some other practical ideas of how you can disciple your children.